Friday, February 26, 2010

LEGGINGS & SKIRTS...



THIS IS MY FIRST FAN SENT PICTURE! (thanx RYAN).
Alright Ladies... I wanna know why... If your going to wear a long skirt, why wear leggings? If your legs are cold, WEAR PANTS! Leggings alone are iffy... (on long slim legs with a little top, cropped jacket, high heels: GREAT). Even the new "jeggings" (jean leggings) are hot...but NOT on LARGER BODY TYPES. PLEASE. THANK YOU. I get that you want to be comfy, but pick one or the other; u look stupid. "like omg, i dont know what to wear, so i'm gonna throw all these things on!" and don't say either, "well, its colder in the morning, and i can take leggings off later when its warm". That is dumb. Guys dont wear shorts over jeans!!
Remember when Jennifer Aniston wore Babydoll dresses over jeans? it was cool for a Hot Minute... but then it was GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS!! So, I beg of you...unless you're a 2 yr old in ballet class, no legging/prairie skirt combos..(and no prairie skirts either! This isn't Lillith Fair!)
Oh, and ps: if ur gonna do flats (ugh) do FLATS: not these CHUNKY UGLIES.

A HAIRY Situation...WITH A SOLUTION!




First: Celine Dion...hairy legs. We know your Canadian/French, but not when you're in the public spotlight. And not in a full on mini! AT A CONCERT!! YOU WANT WORLD DOMINATION?? NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! FIRST: Ladies, do not do this, you will not get record deals, this is NO inspiration! SECOND: many (girl)friends of mine have their "stubble days" which is fine: WITH JEANS OR FLOOR LENGTH SKIRT ONLY. This is not a revolution, this is not Woodstock 2....!
Men: Hairy backs... Its no ones fault, you didn't ask for this, it was given to you as a (curse) blessing from (your parents) God. There are always some straggler hairs, some random place on your back... but no girl wants to run her hands thru your back hair, only your head hair! Many guys of certain ethnicities deal with this problem, BUT THEY HANDLE WITH: SHAVING! TRIMMING! WAXING! and above all for those who can afford: LASER AWAY !!!!!!! so that means: NO MORE EXCUSES!!!!

INCLUDED TODAY: A SPECIAL OFFER FOR LA LOCALS! 3 LASER TREATMENS FOR $185!!! NORMAL $900!!!

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Thursday, February 25, 2010

OH NOOO... EAGLE TALONS!!!!



This is from Failblog.org.... I just couldn't pass this up, and had to share. Oh where do i start... WHY??? WHY???? IF UR FEET R TOO BIG, AND YOUR TOES ARE HANGING OUT, then your SHOES ARE TOOOOOOO SMALL!!! In heels, we call them "eagle talons", because the hang out GRIPPING to the shoes,...i mean, theses nails can CUT YOU! You def do not want to be playing footsie with one of these girls on a date... she will SLICE you!!!!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

SKUNK HAIR



When XTINA had it on her STRIPPED album cover, this was HOT!! (plus, she was Christina, and she was topless... this girl is neither).
PLEASE NO MORE SKUNK HAIR LADIES!!! Pick 1 color, add highlights, low lights, whatever... NO HALF BLONDE-HALF BLACK!! Why do you think this is sexy? Surely can't bring you home to meet the parents looking like you a) haven't washed your hair, b)look like a BAD hooker, c) are wearing a hair "style" from almost 10 years ago!

LOST FOR WORDS...




I just dont know what to say.... except...NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!
Urkel called, he wants his glasses back? I'll let it slide when your grandfather is wearing, but NOT on a 30-something year old guy... and no, THEY ARE NOT COOL.. this is a PRIME EXAMPLE of WHO LIED TO YOU?!?!?!??!

Monday, February 22, 2010

AD's vs. REAL LIFE




Just a friendly reminder... Ads you see in magazines: they are to give you an idea of the lifestyle the designer wants you to be living. On a yacht, in a beautiful mansion, on ur own deserted island with a hot girl.. whatever. This ad from Guess shows a good looking model, with great features, with "hot rock-star style". While this looks good in print, and gives you ideas on how to look cool when u go out, please don't recreate this for real life. YOU are NOT Steven Tyler, YOU are NOT Lenny Kravitz. Thinking you're a Project Runway designer by ripping, cutting, knotting, and adding too many accessories is not sexy for everday. JUST INSPIRATION.

Appropriate Dress....For the occasion...




I recently went to a wedding shower for a close friend. This is the outfit worn by the bride-to-be's childhood friend. We live in LA. It is not Colorado. Nor is it appropriate to be wearing these Ugg-style boots!! WE WERE INDOORS @ A RESTAURANT IN LOS ANGELES!!!!!! @ A WEDDING SHOWER!! she had a dress: CHECK. a coat: CHECK (ok, so she was cold). BUT THESE BOOTS ARE NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THE OCCASION!!! PUT ON A DAMN PAIR OF HEELS!!! ITS A SPECIAL OCCASION!!!!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

BEWARE of EMBROIDERED WORDS!!




Ok, I see these shirts, and I get it: cool patches, sayings, etc. to make the shirt "distressed" "edgy" and "cool". Then a guy feels dressed up when he goes out, but doesn't feel like he's trying too hard. HOWEVER: READ WHAT THEY PUT ON THE SHIRTS B4 BUYING!! This beauty says "Riverside" on it...Does anyone know where and what that is? A no-wheresville WT with no sidewalks in Southern California! (READ: not a place to be bragging about!) Guys, u want writing on your shirts? stick to the vintage surf t's that say Maui on it.

Marc Jacobs new ad...



I dont care how much ur outfit is, if u end up like this at the end of the night...God help u! Dirty feet, sandals?? Legs apart in a back alley?.. Amy whinehouse was soo 2 years ago.. This is not the example ladies need to be seeing!!!!